Being taken for granted!

I'm here sitting at my mom's house today... kinda sad, but I feel myself getting stronger after every fight. I am able to eat, before when we would fight I would starve myself, I would have a knot in my stomach, not anymore :-)

I honestly don't know what this fight was about, I had PMS, I was emotional, I wanted to talk about my feelings, I started crying, I think my husband got frustrated, things went wrong. What I needed was love and comfort, I needed him to hold me and assure me he would be there for me no matter what, I needed him to listen to me and act like he really cares. That did not happen. He chose not to talk to me, despite I do pretty much everything for him, cooking, cleaning, etc. Last night I didn't cook, I just made Maggie Noodles, why the fuck would I cook after I'm treated like a doormat?

I think he also worried about his brother, who lives in India, he wants to come here for his MBA, sadly though, his brother got a terrible GMAT score. My husband really goes out of his way for his family, as one should, but I think he goes a bit too far. He has spent the last 2 years helping his brother out, filling out his applications, writing him looooooooooong emails about life, and asking him what he wants out of his life. His brother is 26! He even had me call up his brother and talk to him about his future plans.

What gets me is that why the fuck does he baby his brother so much? He is a grown man, who needs to stand on his own 2 feet and make some decisions on life, take some initiative. Why the hell doesn't he just say, "you need to get your act together and grow up." What puzzles me is he has no issues fighting with me if I ask him a question he does not like, however he sits there baby-ing his brother who has absolutely no goal in life, no motivation in life. So what do I think? I think my husband totally takes me for granted. He doesn't appreciate me, he thinks I'll always be around, that I can't distant myself from him. The truth is I really do love him, and I'm needy, I'm whiny, I'm a typical girly-girl, but I know if I want to distant myself from him, I can do it, and boy can I be a bitch if I do that.

When does it get easy? I wish I was his priority... there are days I will need love and support... it's always about him. Soon enough I'll have a kid and it'll be about him doing his MBA. Again, I will need to support him. Sure as hell, I am NOT living with his parents... at that point I would lose it. If Indian men would just grow some fuckin' balls and learn to prioritize their wife, and give time to their family, things would be okay. Instead, they choose to treat their wife like doormats, they don't do shit around the house, he doesn't pick up after himself, he doesn't help me with the dishes, cleaning, NOTHING! It's all about him and his family and his MBA and his god damn job!

I am so sick and tired of it. I come home, to my mom's home, hoping to take a break from my life, I don't have to cook or clean, I can just talk to her and spend time with my siblings. I am dreading when I have to go to India and spend 2 weeks there, I hate that country so much, let alone live there! Fuck no!